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Let's Hear Your Funny IT Joke or Story

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The unemployment numbers came out this morning, and as expected, they weren't good, which seems as good a time as any to share some good humor.  So does anyone have any funny IT stories or jokes they would like share?

Me: you've probably heard it, but I've always liked the story of the person who called into tech support with a problem.  The IT support walked the caller through a number of steps on the keyboard, then finally told the caller, "Now all you have to do is press any key."  After a long pause, the caller responded, "Where's the any key button?"

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  • Wow, so many IT/engineer jokes – where to start? How about this:

    The optimist says the glass is half full. The pessimist says the glass is half empty. And the engineer says the glass is twice as large as it needs to be.

  • Go to Google Trends and look up the amount of traffic for the term "SOA": http://www.google.com/trends?q=soa

    You will see in the charts below that The Netherlands leads in searches for the term "SOA." By cities, The Hague, Amsterdam, and Rotterdam lead the list.

    Now, I've been to SOA Symposium events in The Netherlands, so I know the Dutch are really on top of the game with service-oriented architecture. But how does a country with only 16 million people deliver so many hits for SOA?

    As I've found out, in The Netherlands, "SOA" is the acronym used for sexually transmitted diseases -- "STD" in English.

    I imagine the "SOA Symposiums" held there in recent years have raised a few eyebrows among the locals...

  • ESB Humor:

    Q: What is the largest ESB in the world?
    New York City. (Empire State Bldg.)

    Q: What do Enterprise Service Buses do in Redmond, Wash.?
    They are those large vehicles that get you around the Microsoft Campus.

  • Warren Buffet: The Oracle of Omaha
    Larry Ellison: The Omnipotent of Oracle

  • Another Engineer joke:

    A lawyer, a doctor and a computer engineer are driving a car up a curvy, hilly road.

    The car speeds around a corner, slips, smashes through the highway barrier, and flies down a cliff.

    By some miracle, the 3 people survive.

    The doctor immediately says: "We need to make sure that everyone is ok. Any bones broken?"

    The lawyer says: "We need to find out who built that defective road and sue them!"

    The engineer says: "Let's not jump to conclusions. What we gotta do is push the car back up the hill and see if this happens again."

  • RE: Joe McKendrick -- I also had heard the Netherlands story around SOA and some colleagues recently visited customers in that region and were careful to use the term "service oriented architecture" But the funny thing is that they were there to talk about SOA Governance .. designed to accelerate SOA adoption.. I don't think that marketing message will work.

    Perhaps we need a new slogan.. "practice safe SOA"?

    BTW, there are a ton of good IT jokes and stories about call centers and IT support. One of my favorite stories/jokes is a call center organization that actually tracked calls under the nomenclature of "PIBCAK"

    What's PIBCAK? "Problem is between chair and keyboard"

    Thanks for the fun question on a Friday!

  • This story is from the bowels of a support center helping new customers migrate to a new OS.

    This customer was helped by the first level tech for an hour, step by step, making sure every step is followed to the T.

    Then the supervisor jumps in and helps the customer. No luck.

    Then the manager jumps in and goes through the same steps - " Now Press F12". Same story!!

    The manager has a brain wave and asks " now how did you press F12 key?"

    "What F12 key?.. I pressed F, then 1 and then 2!" says the customer!!!

  • This SQL query walks into a bar and sidles up to two tables of attractive young ladies, and asks "May I JOIN you?"

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